The Dexter Leader
A Heritage Newspaper
Weekly Publication
Writing, sharing helped me 'find myself'
PUBLISHED: July 24, 2008
Not a week goes by that I don't receive e-mail and phone calls from people thanking me for writing my column. Both male and female readers stop me on the street or in stores just to talk about cancer when they realize I am the face behind the column.
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One reader recognized me, shook my hand and called me brave. A man who knew my father in high school called me after reading my column on obituaries and another reader plans to share that column with her genealogy class.
I have found links to my column on cancer-related Web sites. Many readers have told me they pass the columns on to friends living outside the local area.
I've heard numerous positive comments about my article, and only one negative. One man shared with me that he believes my column is pointless, especially when the column is just me talking about myself. My response is that my column gives a voice to the women who are both scared and courageous at the same time.
The number of women with breast cancer, or any cancer, is staggering, so it makes sense that there is an entire population of people who are directly affected by cancer.
There's a common and a unique experience for each person and each type of cancer. My opinion is that there is value in educating others on the basics of cancer, as well as the human aspects of a terrible disease.
Over the last few months, I've spoken to countless women about their newly-diagnosed friends, as well as heard the personal triumphs of cancer survivors. Several women said they were glad that someone could speak openly about the topics that they were too shy to discuss themselves.
I believe I am one of the few women who cannot rattle off the date of diagnosis, the date of each appointment or surgery, and the months or years of survivorship. These milestones are deeply important to many women, but I have decided to forget the numbers and not let them occupy space in my heart.
For an extended period of time after diagnosis, I didn't know what to expect, who I was, or where I was headed. There's a favorite song of mine with lyrics that I think sum up how I was feeling for so long: "I can't find myself."
Following a season of being lost, I can see the new-found freedom to begin over and head in any direction that I choose. Sometimes it feels like the world has changed, but it hasn't. I am the one who has changed throughout the process of fighting cancer.
My new motto is: "Steal everything." My husband tells me I need to tweak that a bit before it catches on, but he knows that its meaning is rooted in baseball. If there's an opportunity, I'll be off. I am going to do whatever I can to get to the next base instead of waiting cautiously on the current base.
With this in mind, and after some great thought, I feel the time is right for me to discontinue "Cancer Declassified."
My wishes for this column were granted: discussions were started, women who might have felt alone had someone to connect with, and readers learned about the life of a cancer patient.
So many people have shared this journey with me. How generous of all of you to take the time to contact me, share your own stories of cancer with me, and to take such loving care of your friends and family who are battling cancer.
I want to thank the editor, Michelle Rogers, who saw the value in my column; my family, for letting me put our private lives on display; and the readers, for without you, these thoughts would have been tucked away in a journal where they would have helped no one but me.
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