The Dexter Leader
A Heritage Newspaper
Weekly Publication
Hearts of Hope
'We want people to know they are not alone'
By Crystal Hayduk, Special Writer
PUBLISHED: January 24, 2008
In October 2003, I went to the doctor expecting a routine prenatal exam. Instead, he informed me that my unborn baby had died. A deep grief followed unlike any I had ever experienced, despite the multiple losses in my life.
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A few days later, a friend delivered a gift basket. The contents, as well as the thought behind them, brought me more comfort and healing in the weeks and months that followed than any other resources provided by the hospital.
The gift basket came from a local nonprofit ministry called "Hearts of Hope," founded early in 2002 by Michelle Bazick and Laurel "Kitty" Golding.
Bazick, of Dexter, delivered a stillborn daughter in January 2000. Golding, of Gregory, gave birth in September 2000 to a son who died after 16 hours.
The longtime friends grieved their losses together, unprepared for the physical and emotional changes they experienced.
"We had lunch together at the Gandy Dancer (restaurant in Ann Arbor) and stayed about five hours," Golding said.
"We cried a lot; we also talked about how the Lord was leading us to do something to help others who were going through the same thing.
"We brainstormed ideas, took notes, came up with a name, and went from there."
Bazick explained the goals of Hearts of Hope.
"To acknowledge the loss with a bereavement basket and to let people know they are not alone," said Bazick. "The loss of a baby at any point is significant."
Hearts of Hope is different from other pregnancy loss organizations because the intervention occurs very soon after the loss.
Baskets are given to the families right away, and the materials in them are immediately useful.
Another difference is that Hearts of Hope is a Christian ministry.
Bazick and Golding get together monthly to assemble the baskets and pray for the families who receive them.
The women explained that experiencing loss puts a person on a journey of faith, wherein one questions past beliefs and future plans.
The grieving person needs to come to terms with not only the death of a loved family member but also hopes and dreams for what might have been.
Hearts of Hope baskets are given to families who experience pregnancy loss through St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ypsilanti; Mercy Memorial Hospital in Monroe; Foote Hospital in Jackson; Zeeland Community Hospital in Zeeland; and the OB/GYN offices of Saginaw.
Baskets are also provided by personal request, and as a result have been shipped all over the United States, according to Golding.
Bereavement baskets are given free to the families that receive them. The cost is covered by donations from churches, hospitals, memorial gifts or contributions from interested parties.
Allison Zehnder is an Ann Arbor resident who received a Hearts of Hope basket in 2002. Zehnder found out early in her pregnancy that her baby had a condition that would either end in stillbirth or a live birth with a very short life expectancy.
"We were blessed to have our little girl born alive at full-term and we shared her life for three hours," Zehnder said.
"Having the basket was like receiving a gift for this baby. It was traumatic and very painful leaving the hospital without her. But knowing that Michelle and Kitty put so much love into the basket was very meaningful. They can understand because they've been through it."
Zehnder appreciated that the basket was pretty and contained practical items like Kleenex and a blank journal, along with items to pamper her, like scented candles, tea and chocolate. "The small grief books that were in the basket were very manageable to read," she said.
In 2003, Zehnder began crafting bracelets to include in the baskets as a tangible remembrance of the baby who died. She said it means so much to her to see other women wearing one of her bracelets, for example, at a hospital memorial service.
Bazick summarized her loss and decision to create Hearts of Hope with Golding.
"This experience has made me a richer person," Bazick said.
"Our response is a choice. Am I going to stay bitter and sad, or walk the journey and become closer to God and use the experience to serve and minister to other people?"
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